Keep on, Keepin’ on

That’s what this life is all about, isn’t it? I seem to learn that lesson, over and over again. I guess I only internalize it in small amounts; but I’m surely building a stock pile of Lessons Learned.
Yesterday was a really hard day for me. I was incredibly discouraged, about many things, but most specifically about gardening. At one point during the day I started to write a new post about all my afflictions, and I titled it “Growing Pains”. It ended up being a really long and depressing list. I put it aside to finish editing later, and as I walked away from the computer I started to feel a release, just from “venting” and getting it all out. It’s amazing how just “getting it off your chest” can help you sort out your feelings, whether it’s writing it down or talking with friends. It may seem to others like you’re “whining”, or looking for a solution to all the world’s problems, but I would highly recommend that if you have something bothering you, to just get it out. Be careful about how you do it, though, you may need to warn others of your intentions; otherwise, you could end up with a whole bunch of unwanted advise, or even starting a fight.
Although venting did help, a little, I was still consumed by a cloud of discouragement and self pity. At the end of my “draft” post I did type: I’m just going to “keep on, keepin’ on”, and for some reason that phrase has stuck in my thoughts.
Well, this morning, nothing drastic has really changed but I did wake up slightly less glum. Throughout my morning I’ve been slowly noticing small things that have also helped to improve my attitude. A few disappointments that, yesterday, I had included in my list of failures have, today, started to show some hope. There have just been small things that may seem miniscule or unimportant, but sometimes all it takes are a few small bits of encouragement to change your whole outlook. A simple change of attitude can be a powerful thing. Viewing the world through a different perspective can reroute the course of your entire day, and potentially even your life.
I think a lot about perspective and attitude, and I realize how important and powerful it can be. It’s still really hard to take control, and to be in charge of how I look at life. I think the hardest part is being unwilling to give up my negative thoughts and bad feelings. I don’t know why it’s so much easier to wallow in self pity; whether we do it aloud, or secretly, in our heads. If we can remember to consciously choose to look at things optimistically and to literally “count our blessings”, life takes on new meaning. Things look good, the future is brighter.
Anyway, I’m starting a new list. It’s not nearly as long and overwhelming as my “afflictions” list, but it’s a start. Another good lesson I’ve learned is that Bigger doesn’t always mean Better. Little can still have a lot of impact.

My Happy List, of Good things so far Today:

The dead flowering plum tree has new buds!
The rose bush has new blossoms
The apple tree seems to have fewer bugs
My dead pumpkin has new growth
My banana squash is recovering from a hard start, and has two good fruits

Malachi slept all night
Eli woke up dry, and peed in the toilet
I had a shower before the day was already over
Tad has new books to read, and is enjoying reading
Ati hasn’t had a “melt-down” in a few days


It seems to me, when things are the absolute hardest that they can possibly be, when I’m ready to just give up, if I can keep going just a little longer, just put one foot in front of the other, then the dark tunnel does start to get brighter.

So, just remember to “Keep on, Keepin’ on”. When things look bad, there are ALWAYS good things right around the next corner.